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Wedding Crisis 101: How to Deal With Difficult Bridesmaids

How to Deal with Difficult Bridesmaids
Planning a wedding with a difficult bridesmaid is challenging. Why take all the hassle when you can learn how to deal with a difficult bridesmaid?
Sheetal Mandora
Last Updated: Mar 4, 2018
Bridesmaid - ˈbrīdzˌmād/ (noun)
Not just for a wedding, but for life.

Bride - brīd/ (noun)
Has a memory like an elephant.
Bridesmaids are a funny bunch. In theory, they want to be there for you, front and center. But sometimes, things don't necessarily go as you planned. The support and dedication of a bridesmaid, or lack of it, can make a huge impact on your wedding. Even though you expect your bridesmaids to follow your lead, there may be one (or more) out of the bunch that won't let things go smoothly. So, how should you deal with a sourpuss or troublemaker? Read this Wedessence article, and find out for yourself.
Bridesmaid Gone Wild? Handle with Care
Don't get tangled in a bridesmaid misfortune. Instead, turn your luck around by working out issues with your bridesmaid head-on. And here are some suggestions on the 'how'.
Miss High Maintenance
What's she up to - This bridesmaid is quite common and tough to handle. She wishes to make your wedding all about herself. She will do all the things you've asked her, but they'll have to be done her way. Plus, on the big day, she'll want to be in front of the camera more than you should. There are a couple of reasons why her acting out can mean either jealousy or sadness. If she's single or in a relationship, but not there yet, she probably isn't taking your good news in the right way. Or, the reason for her sadness is because she thinks she'll lose her sister or best friend.
wedding all about thyself
What's your move - Beware, my love, because handling a jealous bridesmaid is a toughie. Avoiding opportunities to communicate with her, heart-to-heart, is a big mistake. This will only encourage her and give you sleepless nights. Invite her to lunch or coffee, and ask her about what's going on. When you give importance to her feelings, she'll probably open up to you. That way, you two can work towards finding a common ground.
Miss Crybaby
What's she up to - For a wedding, apart from the bride and groom (and their families), the bridal party too has to bear a few expenses. So even after knowing this fact, one of your bridesmaids shows displeasure about having to spend so much for your wedding. She complains about spending a ton on the dress, accessories, gifts, and much more.
miss crybaby
What's your move - You may feel that it's best to let her be, instead of ruining your relationship with her. And you're right about thinking so. A good way to ensure that your bridesmaids don't feel the pressure of spending a lot for your wedding is to discuss yours and their budgets beforehand. If everyone agrees on a particular amount, then the next steps shouldn't be difficult. However, even after having the budget discussion, if a bridesmaid is complaining about her share, you can ask her to step down from her role (for her own benefit).
Miss No-for-everything
What's she up to - You took a lot of time and effort to finalize the bridesmaids' dresses, but one of them isn't too happy with your choice. Perhaps the color isn't one of her favorites, it doesn't complement her, or the fabric is not what she wants. Every time you pick a new dress, all she likes to do is reject it or find some flaws.
Miss no for everything
What's your move - Lately, many brides-to-be choose different styles of dresses for the bridesmaids. If you want, you too can choose to go contemporary for the bridal party. Ask your bridesmaids to choose the color and style of the dress. Let them go shopping first, select a few dress styles, and then you can go and make the final decision. However, if you're not too keen about this concept, you need to speak to her about your dilemma. Explain to her, once, that this is the dress you have chosen, and it is necessary for her to wear it. Remind her that it is your day, and there are specific things you expect from her. Plus, when she gets married, you'll be ready to wear any dress she picks out for you.
Miss Uncooperative
What's she up to - As far as bridesmaids' duties are concerned, she's not quite measuring up. She may think that your expectations are unreasonable, and she can't invest so much time, effort, and money into it. Basically, she's MIA in everything and everywhere.
What's your move - A bridesmaid doesn't just support the bride while planning the wedding, but comforts her every step of the way. Perhaps there are some issues that have cropped up and may require to be discussed. Be honest with her about what she is doing and things that need her involvement. Don't blame her for being uncooperative, but talk to her about how and where she needs to be present.
Miss Not-on-the-job
What's she up to - She forgot to plan your shower. You had to call her to remind her about dress shopping. She forgot to invite a few people to the bachelorette party. Her carelessness is becoming too much for you to handle.
not forget thy duties
What's your move - Your bridesmaid is clueless about her duties. This doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't want to be involved or is jealous of your happiness. Perhaps she's a rookie or has too much on her plate at the moment. If her missing out on important duties is becoming a common occurrence, you need to sit with her one more time and give her a crash course. Make a "To Do" list, and go over the points with her. That way, both of you won't have any issues later on.
Miss Nagger
What's she up to - For every decision you make, she wishes to include her input. Right from choosing the cake to writing your vows, or other details about the wedding, she likes to raise her eyebrows and put her two cents in. If she's married, maybe this behavior can indicate all the things she couldn't do at her wedding, and wishes that you would. As far as single bridesmaids are concerned, her efforts at "wanting" you to do certain things can mean that her idea of what a wedding should be and look like is way different than yours.
not criticize the brides choices
What's your move - Advice and suggestions are all great, especially while planning a wedding as it can make a world of difference. However, if these suggestions are unsolicited, then sparks are definitely going to fly. This is your dream wedding, and you get to decide what stays and what goes out. Take her opinions, but don't give in to them unless you feel they are what you want. Let's say, you are out finalizing the floral arrangement, and she wants you to ditch the roses and choose lilies instead. Here, you can explain to her that even though you'd love to select lilies, your heart is set on roses. There are many less defensive ways to get your work done.
Surrounding yourself with irresponsible and undependable bridesmaid will
do you no good. So, if you catch her being so early on, you can save yourself a lot of headache and anxiety while planning your wedding. As the day comes closer, you want to make sure that you have reliable people in your party. That way, you have a chance to enjoy the days approaching the wedding stress-free.
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